Entwined Souls
by RebelliousWriter
Summary: What if the Blake siblings had already known Clarke before their arrival at Earth? How would that have changed things? A different version of the 100 starting in season one, episode one. See what new adventures, romances, friendships, betrayals and difficulties they face together. A Bellarke romance with a Clarke/Octavia friendship.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Any character you recognize from The 100 does not belong to me. I am just playing with them and will return them after.  
>Warnings: Will contain adult language, adult situations, character death and possible triggers due to violence and anything else that might happen in a post apocalyptic world.<p>

For my story to flow a bit smoother I made a few adjustments, two I will tell you now and the others you will have to find out as we go. The first being that the Unity day Masquerade where Octavia got caught actually happened two and a half years before they went to earth, not a year before. The reason for this is because it will give the Blake siblings more time to get to know Clarke. The other is that Clarke and Wells are friendly with each other, but I see it as more of a forced friendship because their parents are so close. So not on a best friend level but friendly at the least.

I don't have a beta at this time (want to do it? PM me!) so all mistakes are mine. Please if you find any, do let me know.  
>Thank you and I hope you enjoy! If so leave me a review and let me know what you think? Or even if you don't, I take feedback in all forms, as long as it's constructive.<p>

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><p>When Lieutenant Shumway, <em>no<em>, Commander Shumway informed him of what was going to happen to his sister and 99 other delinquents, Bellamy knew instantly he would be going as well. His sister needed him and he needed to protect her. His mind also thought of the other girl he needed to go for. The girl who had become the light in their darkness, the light in _his_ darkness.

He would do what was demanded of him, hating every second of it. But he would do it. Family was everything to him and that was what Octavia was. And her, well, she was everything he didn't know he was lacking in his life. He missed his chance with her before, but this time nothing would stop him. His angel would be his and she would finally know that he would do anything to be hers.

He remembered the first time he saw her. Unsurprisingly it was when she had stepped in to save his sister and him. Bellamy didn't know it at the time but he later learned that it was a trait he would both come to love and hate in her. She was so selfless at times, so good, that it made him want to shake her a few times to get her to wake up and see that not everything was unlimited water rations and underwear not worn by countless others before you.

The first time was the night of the Unity Day Masquerade when Bellamy was frantically searching for a way to get his sister out safely. Then like an angel sent down just for them, she stepped in and saved them.

_Octavia's eyes were wide open in fright as she asked him how to get home. He was so upset at himself, why did he do this to her? All he wanted was for her to have some fun and he ruined it. He had one job, to protect her, and he failed. _

_Lieutenant Shumway was about to ask for her I.D. chip when a blonde angel came up from behind them, grabbing his sister by the hand with a large smile. _

_"There you are! I thought I lost you! Come on now, my dad will worry if we don't get back soon. He'll want to know we are alright."_

_My sister looked at the beautiful angel in shock that quickly turned into joy but I noticed that Lieutenant Shumway looked at her full of loathing. What had she done to make him feel that way?_

_"Miss. Griffin, does your mother know where you are tonight?"_

_Their angel stiffened just enough for him to notice at the Lieutenant's words. _

_"I don't see what business it is of yours. But if you must know, my father does."_

_"Does he now? I doubt that." _

_Shumway had a sneer on his face that Bellamy wanted to punch off._

_"So you think you know what is in my father's head? You aren't that high up on the food chain yet Lieutenant Shumway to think you know anything about what he thinks."_

_She had spunk and fire but the words only fueled the Lieutenant's anger. He leaned in and got into her face as he spoke in a low dangerous tone. _

_"Little girl, you have pushed me for far too long, if it wasn't for your father I would have had you floated you already! This time your father isn't around to-"_

_"Isn't around to what?"_

_They all had turned around to look at the new face that spoke. Behind them was a male slightly taller than Bellamy himself. He first looked at the angel with care and love and then in anger at the Lieutenant. _

_"Lieutenant Shumway is there an issue with my daughter and her friend that I need to know of?"_

_"No Sir. I was just going to check their I.D. chips and send them on their way."_

_"Well I'm here now and my wife will be worried and waiting for us to get back home so maybe you should go do checks on people you don't know personally. This cadet and I will make sure the girls arrive home safe."_

_"But sir, I don't know your daughters friend is, I have to check her."_

_"Are you saying I don't know who my daughters friends are?" _

_"No sir, not at all. I hope you all have a great evening."_

_It had been amusing to see the normally hard assed Lieutenant brought down by a few words and walk away seething. _

_The angel's father turned to him and seemed to study him for a moment as if trying to place his face. Bellamy's thoughts were confirmed a second later. _

_"Cadet Blake, I assume you can escort this young lady home?"_

_Bellamy could only nod, his body was still pumped full of adrenaline, still primed with the strong flight or fight response caused by his fear that his sister would get caught._

_"Good man. Ladies, let's go please."_

_Bellamy watched as their saviour, who was still holding his sister's hand, smiled at her and pulled her forward. As soon as they made it out into the hallway the father lead them to a corner and looked around to make sure no one was close._

_"Clarke what on earth were you thinking? You know your mother told you that you had to study tonight! I can't keep pulling you out of trouble, one of these days you will have to dig yourself out you know. And this time you almost dragged others along with you! You know going against the guard isn't a game!"_

_The angel, he knew her name now but angel suited her far more, shrunk into herself some at her father's disappointed tone._

_"I wasn't looking for trouble! I just wanted to go out and have some fun, find someone my age to talk to, maybe even have a friend of my own that didn't talk to me just because of who you and mom are. I'm tired of being stuck at home, I study all day and most nights. I'm sorry I didn't listen to her but she never listens to what I want either! I have four more years to become a doctor, I don't have to study all the time." She looked down and mumbled softly, but not so soft that the others didn't hear. "Besides I don't even think I want to be one, I just want to draw."_

_Her dad's face softened at the mention of her wanting her own friend and then scrunched up in anger when she mentions her mother not listening to her. _

_"We'll sit down and have another talk with your mother, see if we can come to an agreement on a few things. But none of that explains why you back talked Lieutenant Shumway, again might I add."_

_She looked at his sister with fondness, a look he had only seen directed at her by him and their mother. Octavia was staring back at her like she was her new hero. A look that made Bellamy jealous, before now he had been the only one to receive a look like that. Not even their mother did._

_"She looked so scared dad, you know what a bully he is. I had to do something!"_

_Her answer seemed to amuse her father somehow, like it was a reply he got often. _

_"I think that's enough excitement for one night, say your farewells, it's time to head home."_

_"But dad can we walk her home? So I know where she lives and can visit her!" Clarke gave a wide hopeful grin to her father before turning to his sister and bombing her with questions. "I mean is that ok with you? Do you like to read? How about drawing? Would you like to come over to my place and watch old recordings? My dad likes to watch football ones but we can borrow better ones from the archives!"_

_Bellamy watched the two girls, both wanting something they couldn't have, wishing he could give it to them. Clarke's father's face said that he felt the same way. _

_"I'm sorry Clarke but it's for the best if you part ways now." _

_With that statement Bellamy knew he was right, her father did know who he was and more importantly, who his sister was. But why didn't he turn them in? He had the perfect chance to. Bellamy looked at the older man and saw the answer on his face, understanding, concern, compassion, sorrow. He knew they wouldn't be turned in by this man._

_Clarke didn't like his answer at all. "Why is it for the best? Don't you want me to have a friend? I promise I'd only go straight to her quarters or ours, I wouldn't go anywhere you didn't know about. Please dad, please?"_

_Her pleas made her father almost give in, Bellamy could tell, but he could also tell that he wouldn't. He gently pried his daughter's hand from Octavia's and pulled her to him._

_"I'm sorry little bird, it really is for the best, for both of you. Come now, it's time to go."_

_Clarke yanked her arm away and ran away from them, yelling back as she did. "You're just like mom, you only want me to be friends with who you want, not who I want! I hate you!"_

_Before he left after his daughter he turned a painful expression towards the Blake siblings but spoke to Bellamy. _

_"I'm sorry about that. It wasn't my intention for either girl to get hurt. If you ever need a doctor, she is training to be one and is in the top of her class. If you ever need her, seek her out. Her name is Clarke Griffin. She can be trusted with any secrets, trust me." He ended with a very pointed look at Octavia, and with that he left. _

_But it wouldn't be the last time Bellamy spoke with either of them. For they would cross paths again. It seemed like fate had made it so their lives would be entwined from this day forth. _


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Wow! I thought this might not get too many readers, but you guys are awesome! Thank you to everyone, you made my day. And this isn't something I plan on doing often (answering reviews in my chapters but I can't message someone without an account), but to the guest that reviewed asking about a pairing for Octavia- She will be paired with someone. As to who, I can't tell you. Not because I want to hide it but because I am torn between two people. If there is someone you would like to see her with, let me know and I'll take all votes into consideration. Same with if you have someone you don't wish to see her with.

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><p><em>"If I told you what I was,<em>  
><em>Would you turn your back on me?<em>  
><em>And if I seem dangerous,<em>  
><em>Would you be scared?<em>

_Can I clear my conscience,_  
><em>If I'm different from the rest,<em>  
><em>Do I have to run and hide? <em>  
><em>I never said that I want this,<em>  
><em>This burden came to me,<em>  
><em>And it's made its home inside"<em>  
><em>-Imagine Dragons - Monster<em>

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><p>The hall would be empty, the Chancellor wouldn't even have an aid walking with him or any of the Council members, or even a guard. Shumway told him he had just a moment, two at the most, it was the only window he had and he had to make it work.<p>

He breathed deeply in.

He slowly let it out.

He thought of Octavia alone down on Earth.

He pictured never seeing her or Clarke again, of them dying because he wasn't there to protect them.

That was all it took, he just had to keep thinking of them. He pushed back the feelings of dread at what he was about to do, he would deal with that later.

As soon as he turned this last corner it would be time. His arm raised and he ignored the shaking. He didn't have time to cater to the sick feeling bubbling up in his gut at the thought of what he was about to become. A monster. A killer.

_Octavia. Clarke. His girls needed him!_

His arm stopped trembling just in time.

Chancellor Jaha blinked in shock at seeing someone holding a gun on him but he didn't even have time to do anything.

Bellamy closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. He heard the bullet hit flesh and a body hitting the ground. He didn't open his eyes to look at what he did, instead he spun around and ran in the opposite direction. Shumway had told him where to stash the gun when he was done but there was no way he was going to leave it behind, it could be used to help him protect his family down on Earth. He raced down hall after hall, knowing he had no time to waste if he wanted to make it to the drop ship in time.

Slowing down to a walk he made his way to the other guards that were standing around making sure the prisoners left without any trouble. Bellamy glanced at the countdown and let out a thankful breath. He had made it with three minutes to spare. He copied the other guards and walked around the ship but when he got to the open supply storage, that Shumway had told him would stay open for him and unguarded for the last five minutes, he noticed it was empty and he stopped in confusion. Not one crate of supplies was inside. He had figured that he would have a tight fit with everything they would be sending with them. Just feet away from the open door crates, boxes and backpacks sat waiting to be packed. Why was it not in already? And it hit him like a ton of bricks, they planned on sending them down with no supplies, nothing at all.

Bellamy felt his body responding to the fury he was feeling and wanted to make someone pay. They would be sending kids, _kids for fucks sake_, down to Earth with no adults and that was bad enough, but with no weapons, no food, nothing? That was insane. And so not happening.

With a burst of speed that came from sheer desperation Bellamy rushed and he pushed, pulled, and tugged on the heavy crates to get them and as many boxes and backpacks as he could in before time ran out.

The warning for two minutes shouted out and he still had so much left. He quickly scanned the words on each crate trying to decide as fast as his brain would let him, what to pick and what he had no choice but to leave behind.

A crate of personal belongings went in, followed by ones of clothing, blankets, a few crates labeled household, one of weapons, one that only said guides and one that said tools. He frantically looked around but couldn't find one for food.

The last minute warning beeped out and Bellamy was sweating like crazy and his heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he worried it might break right out of his body.

He grabbed as many of the backpacks as he could in one sweep, not even caring what was in them, and tossed them in. He heard something break and hoped it wasn't anything important.

The countdown for the last thirty seconds began just as he spotted a few sparse looking medical kits tucked in a corner.

Fifteen seconds. He grabbed another armful of backpacks and ran back with them.

Five seconds. Time was up, he didn't have time to get anything else. He fell back against the supplies and hoped he got enough. It wasn't much but knowing he did the right thing helped push away some of the darkness that was slowly forcing its way into his heart at what he did. Would he ever be able to forgive himself? Would they? What would his girls think of him when they found out?

_Four. _Why didn't they have any food supplies?

_Three._ Would the little bit of medical supplies they did have be enough?

_Two._ What was Earth really going to be like?

_One. _How much has his sister grown since he last saw her?

A loud buzzer sounded and the ship doors banged shut and guards made their way around it as they locked it up tight. Bellamy could hear loud talking when someone found the supplies all messed up, partly missing and grinned because there was nothing they could do. They wouldn't open the ship back up for anything.

Bellamy paid no mind to the ship leaving, for his mind blocked everything out as he sunk further down among the supplies and prayed to a deity he wasn't sure he believed in, thankful that he was on the ship with them, thankful for the supplies, and hopeful that Earth would be livable. It had to be.

His thoughts went to the other prisoners he didn't know. He was sure that he would know a few but most of them would be unknowns. They could be possible threats to him and his girls. He needed a game plan and several back up plans for when things went wrong. Because without a doubt he knew that they would.

The first thing he would have to do is pick a few allies. He'd have to see if his girls had any, he knew how the delinquents in prison worked. It was just like the rest of the Ark, who you knew, who owed you favors and who you owed had a lot of pull. Clarke, he knew, was in solitary confinement and wasn't allowed physical contact with any of the other prisoners, so she might not have any allies herself. But then again the other prisoners got free time to roam around every week so it was possible some got curious at who she was and stopped to talk to her. It was his sister he was really worried about. Before she got locked up she had hardly any human contact and was starved for attention, she didn't know much about human behavior and how to tell if someone was really a friend, an ally or an enemy. So anyone she said she was close to, he knew he would have to observe first.

His train of thoughts went from planning back to Clarke again. Back to the second time he saw her, but the first time he sought her out.

_Their mom had gone out to "take care of some things", really as if he didn't know what she was doing, and had left him and Octavia alone for the night. With no checks coming for the night they had many free hours ahead of them to spend together. Not something that had much of before. _

_Octavia had pleaded for him to show her some of the moves he had learned in his cadet training and against his better judgement he agreed. _

_He had her back to his chest and his arms wrapped around her upper torso, telling her step by step how to break a hold like this. After she felt she got it, she tried it. Only she elbowed his gut harder than he expected and he stumbled back a few steps, bumping against a shelf as he did, causing everything on it to fall. His mother's favorite keepsake, a glass figurine from who knows, slipped and shattered on the floor. _

_Octavia rushed forward to clean up their mess but ended up slicing her palm. Bellamy started freaking out at the injury, knowing he couldn't just take her to the Medical Station. Their mom had sewing stuff all around but nothing to clean the cut with or anything. _

_And then a memory from a few months back came to the front of his mind. That angel, her father said she was training to be a doctor and if he ever needed her, to seek her out. That he could trust her. _

_As he looked at his sister who had a few tears running down her face, cradling her hurt hand against his chest, he knew he had no choice. He had to go get her. _

_"O, listen to me. I want you to stay put, I'm going to get help ok? Don't worry." He smiled at her, hoping to reassure her that he knew what he was doing. But it wasn't enough, she tried to protest and get him to stop but he quickly left their quarters and made his way to the closest guard monitoring directory. As fast as he could he typed in his cadet code and searched for the Griffin family. As soon as he located their quarters he ran off to them. _

_Standing in front of their door he grew nervous. What the heck was he going to say? He was gathering up his nerves to knock on the door when it opened and her father looked at him in surprise. _

_"Cadet Blake, what brings you by?"_

_"Mr. Griffin, your daughter. Please, I need her help."_

_The two men started at each other, one letting every emotion show on his face, while the other read them. _

_"Jake, my name is Jake. Let me get her for you."_

_Bellamy didn't even have to wait a minute before Clarke herself came to the door. But this girl was different from when he had last seen her. She looked stressed and troubled. However when she noticed him she gave him a small smile. _

_"Little bird, I need you to do me a favor. Someone is hurt and I need you to help them."_

_Bellamy watched as Clarke's face scrunched up in confusion. He could read the question right off her face. Apparently so could her father. _

_"No, this person can't go to the Medical Station. Listen to me, remember how you sometimes see and hear things you can't talk about to others?"_

_Clarke glanced at Bellamy horrified, whatever she knew must have been big if she was that worried he would find out. She nodded to her dad and he smiled at her._

_"I'm so sorry little bird to put so much on your shoulders once again. You're going to go with Cadet Blake and anything you do must stay between you, him and the person that is hurt. Is that clear?"_

_"Yes. I won't say a word."_

_"Cadet Blake will take care of you and bring you home later. I trust you in his hands." Jake Griffin stared Bellamy down and he was a little unnerved by the threat in his eyes. He hasn't yet met anyone he was scared of before, but he could tell that Jake Griffin wasn't messing around. If anything happened to Clarke, Bellamy would pay for it. _

_"Of course sir, your daughter is safe with me."_

That day Clarke met his sister for the first time, officially, and didn't bat an eyelash when she learned who she was. She cleaned her palm, gave her a few stitches and sat with her, talking for an hour. After that Clarke was over constantly, her and Octavia became fast friends. She brought over movies and books on a tablet borrowed from her father, and games that they spent hours playing. Any time Bellamy joined them in the games, they gained up on him and cheated but he never let on that he knew, he just let them have their fun. It warmed his heart to hear them laughing, to see his sister with a friend was something he never thought would happen.

After a month of visits Clarke also shared with them her own secret, well her father's secret. Life on the Ark was slowly dying and since the council didn't feel the need to tell people, her father was thinking about making a video and illegally broadcasting it. She knew that if he did he would be floated and she told the Blake siblings that she partly wished her father wouldn't do it because she didn't want to be without him. The siblings also learned that Clarke and her mother didn't always get along, her mother was pushing her to be a doctor and while good at it, Clarke didn't feel she was ready for it. She had other dreams that she had for herself.

The day Clarke brought over a blue ribbon for Octavia that she had traded for and a bracelet she had made, claiming she had heard it was a friendship bracelet and only the closet and best of friends had them, then shyly showing them her own wrist that had a matching one on it, well that was the day Bellamy started to fall in love with her.

Many months after that when he was standing by helplessly watching her, as she watched her father get floated, that was the day he knew he loved her.

He never got to tell her as it was also the day that a surprise check was actually a surprise, and Octavia was found. Guards dragged her and their mother from the room, and for the second time in one day he stood by as someone he knew got floated. The Chancellor wasted no time in telling him that Octavia would be locked up and that he was dismissed from his Cadet training. He slid down to the floor in shock, not caring for the tears running freely down his face.

His only thought was, where was Clarke when he needed her?

He had no idea that when she went back home they arrested her for treason. He wouldn't find that out for three months and he spent most of that time almost hating her for not being there for him. Bellamy wondered everyday if she even really cared for his sister and him. When he heard where she was it was an accident, he overheard a few others talking about it. He wanted to kick himself for ever doubting her and swore to himself that he would make it up to her someday, somehow.

But eight months later here he was, hidden away, illegally after killing someone, on a ship going down to Earth with her and his sister. Soon they would see each other again. Soon he would have them both in his arms. And this time, he wasn't ever letting go.

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><p>Ending AN: So what did you guys think? I stressed a little over this one with the supplies but it always really bothered me that they send them down with nothing. Yes they said they would be dropped near a location that they thought would have some, but they didn't know they would be there for sure. So I changed things up so they would have some stuff. Is anything actually useful in the crates? Time will tell. dun dun dun. :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: The reunion everyone is waiting for is coming up next, but first, I give you a look in another person's mind. Writing a whole chapter without dialog was a first for me, it was incredibly challenging but I like the way it came out. I hope you do too.

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><p>"<em>I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.<em>  
><em>Delicious Ambiguity."<em>  
><em>-Gilda Radner<em>

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><p><em>Thanks to the Ark I learned many things. Things I needed to know of course but also I learned about the meaning of black and white, and the shades of gray and just what that meant. I learned that if you had a position of power it didn't always make you a good person. I learned that sometimes people died for the wrong reasons, reasons that should have never existed in the first place, and no one cared. At least not the people who could do something about it. I learned that the system was flawed. But mostly, I learned that trusting people only lead to heartache, and it wasn't something to be handed out. It had to be earned.<em>

When I was a young girl it was easy to stay blind to the real things that went on in the Ark, to the darker things that went on behind closed doors, the things whispered about in the dark. I had two parents that had great jobs, privileged jobs that made things very easy for us. My mother's good friend had a son my age that came over often and it was nice having someone to play with.

Until one day when I was four and my so called easy life began to crumble and crack. I had asked my dad why they didn't have another baby if they loved me so much. My dad had told me that yes, they did love me, more than I would ever know, but they couldn't have another child because it was against the rules.

I remember being so confused.

Hoarding water was supposed to be against the rules. Sharing food rations was against the rules. But having another baby? How was that against the rules? Dad tried to explain but none of it made sense. When mom came home that night I asked her as well, but all she told me was that it was that way because it had to be and that I should stop asking pointless questions.

My next glimpse that everything wasn't right on the Ark was when I was ten and at the Medical Station with mom. She sometimes let me go to work with her, she said it was so that I had an early start for when I became a doctor as well.

An old woman came in with a young child, a child that was still learning how to walk. The woman said that the child had fallen down and broke her leg. Mom put a strange paste thing on it that she told me was a cast and gave her some medicine that would help with the pain. The child had cried saying that it still hurt but my mom said she couldn't give any more medicine because it was against the rules. Again, another rule that confused me. My mom clearly had more medicine behind her and it was a little baby for crying out loud!

When I was thirteen I found out that even though it was against the rules, my mom sometimes gave the "privileged" people more medicine than was allowed. And often when she was caught by others, they just looked the other way. I think that was when I started to resent her. A resentment that never fully went away. I told my dad about it one day when he noticed something was wrong and it was the first time I ever saw him angry. I heard him yell at my mom that night, another first. When I woke up the next day they both pretended like nothing happened and I think I felt let down that my dad didn't do more.

A few months later I snuck out to a party and almost made a real friend all on my own but my dad stopped that from happening. I hated him for it, it took me five months to forgive him. And then to understand why he did it.

But I think the worst was when I was an older teenager and I found out the biggest secret. My dad had found out that the Ark soon would be unlivable. And that my mom knew and forbade him from telling anyone, on the council's orders! On top of that, the drop ships that they had would never hold all of them so more than half of the people on the Ark would die without even having a chance to go down to Earth. Or know. They would just die one night in their sleep. Without the time to hold their loved ones one last time, to say good bye, to gain forgiveness for anything they did, to be forgiven.

Something inside me broke that day. It made my soul feel heavy to know about it, some days I wish I never found out.

Everything changed when I met the Blake siblings. Yes I said it, _siblings_. It was against the stupid flawed rules but I didn't care. I finally had someone I could talk to about everything. No matter the subject, even if it was something against the Ark's rules. I had a friend of my own, completely mine and I forgot all about how heavy my burden was, how heavy it was to hold secrets that didn't belong to me. I forgot all about it because with them I laughed again, I smiled more, I lived again. They healed me.

I had them and then just as quickly they were torn away from me, taking parts of my heart with them.

What happened? Betrayal of course. Someone told on my dad and he dad was floated for it and I was locked away in solitary confinement for treason. My mother didn't even come see me for the first month, the second she came once. I felt abandoned by her, how could she leave me alone in here right after I lost my dad? I was alone, lonely and devastated by my loss.

I talked to no one, not even the other prisoners that I would see sometimes pass by and look into my cell. Then one day a boy my age stopped. He stood there just watching me before raising his hand up to the window and gave me a quick shy wave. I was so shocked that I almost didn't wave back. When I did his face lit up with a huge smile and he beckoned me closer to the door. I did and we started talking to each other. After that day each time he was allowed out to roam he would come to talk to me. Sometimes he would bring others and they would talk with me too. I was living again, somewhat at least. I laughed again, and if sometimes my laughs didn't get as loud as they did with _them_, I forced myself not to think of it. They became my friends, but I still missed my best friend, no one could replace her and I would never give anyone the smallest chance to try. I missed _him_ too but thinking of him was something I only let myself do on the rarest of occasions. He was my first love and I had fallen fast. When I did think of him I sometimes wondered what could have happened, until I remember how broken I was. I wouldn't have been good enough for him. He with his beautiful smiles and carefree laugh. He deserved someone whole, someone that didn't need to be fixed. And that's all I was, a broken shell of who I used to be.

A few months after talking to my new friend, Miller was his name, well last name but he said he liked it more than his first name, I told him about my best friend and how much I missed her. When I mentioned her name on accident he jumped up and ran off. Ten minutes later he came back, dragging a girl with him. Not just any girl but Octavia. I was happy to see her until I realized what it meant that she was here. She had been found and no doubt her mom was no longer with us. It hurt, I hurt for her and I cried because I couldn't hug her like I knew she wanted. Separated by a door we cried together, both sad but happy to see the other again.

Miller and Octavia soon was joined every week by Jasper, Monty and another girl named Monroe. All of us so different but I think that's how we became so close.

One day when they visited me Jasper didn't show up with them. They told me that he had family visiting for the morning but would be by later. We passed the morning like normal and in no time at all Jasper had joined us, telling us he had huge news to tell us.

Turns out his father heard a secret of his own and knew he had to pass it on to his son. The Ark was sending one hundred of us down to Earth sometime in the next few months. The thought scared us but knowing we couldn't do anything about it, we instead thought on it and began to plan. We figured we knew what we could expect. So many kids without any adults would be chaos. Without plans none of us would survive so we made plan after plan, on top of more plans. The one thing no one ever mentioned was that those they sent down might all die before having the chance to use the plans, it wasn't something any of them wanted to picture.

Of course since we tried to keep quiet about the plans and the fact that one hundred of us would be going to Earth, soon it was spread around to the other prisoners. What was surprising about that was that none of them let the guards know that we knew. Instead they started a kind of network, talking about what they could do, what they thought might be down on Earth and held small study sessions to brush up on their old classes to share information. No one knew who would be going, or when, but all of us, these delinquents, the ones that the Ark thought disposable, we all worked together so that whoever was sent, went with as much knowledge as possible so that they would have a bigger shot at surviving. In another time, if we didn't know beforehand, maybe we would have fallen apart. Maybe we would have failed, became people we would have never been before. But we chose to work together, not because we all suddenly got along, in fact most of us hated each other, no it was far bigger than that. We all had a strong drive to prove the adults wrong. We are not disposable. We are not an experiment. We are human too and we deserve the right to pick how we want to live. We have the right to be more than what they made us out to be. And they would know it, one way or another, we would show them.

Mom came more often in the last two months leading up to us leaving. By guilt or maybe a sense of obligation, I'd never know. I do know that she never told me about the so called experiment to Earth, even though we got unsupervised visits. Not even a small hint. Another betrayal from her. I was no longer surprised by them, but it couldn't stop the hurt. Each one from her was another piece of my heart that broke off. What if I could never mend them back together? Would I be partly broken forever?

_Thanks to the Ark I did learn many things, yes. But I was no longer going to be on the Ark. I and 99 other's would be Earth bound, hopefully to a new start for us. And with this rebirth we all went in remembering everything learned on the Ark, vowing that we would keep remembering it so that we didn't make the same mistakes they did up in space. We would be better. We would do more than live, than survive. We would thrive. We would grow. We would win. _


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Whew! Longest chapter yet. Hope it's what some of you have been waiting for. If not, don't throw eggs at me. I would hate to have to wash them out of my hair! :(

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><p>Bellamy woke with a start, confused until he remembered where he was. He listened again, not sure what woke him.<p>

"Clarke? Clarke damn it, answer me!"

That's what woke him. Someone on the other side of the ship was calling for Clarke. They must have started to wake up from whatever the guards used to knock them out.

"Does anyone see Clarke?"

"She's here by me, but she's still out. That you Miller?"

"Jasper? Yeah it's me. Who else can you see?"

"Monty is next to me, he's still out too. I see Monroe behind Clarke and I think she's waking up. I don't see any of the others, do you?"

"Good, that's more of us than we figured. Octavia is next to me. She's out still too but ok. I've called out for Sarah, John and Melissa but I don't think they are here."

Octavia! They mentioned her name and she was safe! Bellamy sat back and decided to listen more at what was going on. It was clear these two guys knew his sister and Clarke, knew them well and that meant he needed to learn as much as he could about them.

"Uh hey Miller, we have a problem."

"What Jasper?"

"Well do you remember what Clarke said to do when we first got up? Well there are three and they are all close to her."

Bellamy tried reading between the lines and used their tone to try to figure out what was being said. The only thing he could imagine was nothing good.

"Fuck. Ok well we can't really do anything about it now. Sarah said no matter what we have to stay in our seats. So do not get up Jasper."

Yeah, now Bellamy knew it wasn't anything good. Three possible threats are close to his Clarke.

"I won't move. I don't want Clarke mad at me, she's super scary."

Both boys and Bellamy laughed at that, but all agreed in their minds, Clarke was someone you wanted to stay on their good side.

The chatter quieted down for a while before sounds of more and more of them waking up could be heard. There was panic, crying, swearing and almost all of them called out for other people.

Octavia's voice was the first one he heard that he was waiting for.

"CLARKE!"

Octavia screamed out, the fear of not seeing her friend was hard to handle and Bellamy wondered about it. His sister had to have known that they might not be placed together so this much fear was unreasonable. His heart skipped a beat as he figured it out. Octavia wasn't scared because she couldn't see Clarke. No, she was scared that Clarke might not even be on the ship. Bellamy had forgotten that it wasn't all prisoners that would be sent, only one hundred of them. He let out a sigh of relief that she was on the ship, he didn't even want to think of alternative.

The Miller guy was quick to sooth her fears, telling her that he already asked around and she was here and with a few of their friends. Bellamy clenched his fists at his sister's tears of joy. He couldn't stand any of her tears, never had been able to.

Octavia talked back and forth with a few people but he stopped paying attention once finding out that it was mostly gossip.

Then a male called out his angel's name.

"Clarke? Clarke can you hear me?"

At his question came utter chaos. People started talking much louder, yelling out question after question.

"I could hear you better if everyone would shut the hell up."

Ah yes. How he missed her snark, her bossy ways and damn it, everything about her. Her voice made his body burn with want and he longed to touch her.

"Much better, thank you. Anyone got anything for me?"

The way she asked it reminded Bellamy of an officer demanding a report and her reply confirmed it.

"Octavia, Jasper, Monty, Monroe and I are all we see so far. John, Sarah and Melissa got left behind. Risk factor is seventeen at last count."

"Thanks Miller. Tavia, you ok?"

"I'm better now." Bellamy could hear the smiles in both of their voices and it made his own come out. Only for it to slide off his face when a voice that could only be described as slimy spoke up.

"Wow Miller, could you be further up her ass?"

"Shut your face Murphy if you don't want me to kick your ass when we land."

This Miller person must have been known to back up his threats because at it, the slimy bastard did in fact not say another word.

Happy that both of his girls were up and talking, Bellamy sat back and wished for the time to go by faster. He was desperate to land.

* * *

><p>After waking up Clarke was stressed almost instantly. The news that most of their core group was on the ship pleased her, however some of the people around her did not.<p>

Back in lock up they had made a list of the people they didn't want on Earth with them, the people that they had to be the most careful of. Hearing that seventeen of them had come down them was more than she had counted on. She began to doubt that they would be able to handle them. Yes they had been in with their plans and agreed with them but no one trusted them that they would actually work with them and help out. Which would be needed, they would all have to work together.

On top of them there was the addition of someone she flat out never wanted to see again. Her ex friend, the boy that had been the reason her father got floated, son to the Chancellor, Wells Jaha. He was sitting on her right and had tried to talk to her but she refused to even look at him. She didn't have time or the energy to really waste on ignoring him but did it anyways. She had more important things to do. Like staying calm and getting ready for what came next for them. Either they opened the doors and started to live, or they opened the doors and the radiation killed them. The whole situation was so stressful and Clarke knew that it was only going to get worse.

At once all the monitors around the ship came on and Chancellor Jaha's face popped up. He gave a pretty speech filled with lovely words that sounded like broken promises. It impressed no one but did tell them some important information about some supplies that should be found on Mount Weather, where they would be landing.

She locked eyes with Jasper and saw the worry in his face. Trying her best to seem ok and worry free herself to keep him calm, she smiled at him. It relaxed him some but she could feel his eyes on her as she leaned her head back, closed her eyes and tried to meditate.

It worked, she was able to escape inside her mind and block everything else out. The next time she opened her eyes it was because the ship was free falling and everything and everyone was rattling around.

Clarke tried her best to yell out for them to stay calm but it didn't do much use. She herself screamed when two bodies came flying above her head, hitting the wall and falling to the floor to never get up again. Why didn't they listen and stay buckled in?

Then there was no movement, no sound, the ship was still.

It didn't take long for it to kick in for everyone what that must have meant, they had landed. There was a flurry of activity as all of them hurried to unstrap themselves and head to the main door.

At the door everyone's excitement died down and fear was strong on their faces. Monty pushed Clarke so that she was next to the door and turned her around to face everyone. She knew he wanted her to say something but words failed her until a small hand grabbed hers, she didn't even need to look to know who it was. With Octavia beside her she felt much stronger.

"You all heard what Chancellor Jaha said, we would be pardoned for our crimes if we landed on Earth. Well here we are and I guess that means we are free. But you know what? I say we have been free since the moment they drugged us without our permission and sent us on this suicide mission. They wanted to use us as a test, that's why they sent us, the delinquents, because in their eyes we are replaceable and expendable. I say we are not!"

Cheers came from every corner of the ship and it only gave Clarke more of a reason to keep going.

"Once we open these doors we will no longer be a part of the Ark. We will be a part of the Earth and I say it's time we showed those back on the Ark just what we are made of! All of you heard the rumors that some of us had ideas for when we got here, some of you have even been in on those plans and most of you helped with them on some way. I'm here to tell you that yes, we have plans to not just survive here but to keep living for years to come. But they won't work if we are not all together! We have to work as a team and if we do, we will prove to the Ark and anyone else who doesn't believe in us that we are more than they thought! We are more than just expendable!"

More cheers of agreement and loud stomping finished her speech and went on for long moments. It stopped when someone started to push their way to the front.

"Nice words but I have a problem with them. You see I don't think we want another crappy leader, another person to just tell us what to do. If we want to party and have fun, I say that's what we do!"

Murphy, of course it would be him. And of course some cheered at his words too, the idea of fun sounded great to them. Why wouldn't it? Most of them were sixteen and younger.

Clarke watched as Miller nodded his head as if he agreed. "Yes one big party does sound fun but what about after? What will you do for food? Where would you sleep? Out in the open? What if it rained or snowed? What about showers, how would you stay clean? Would you just go to the bathroom anywhere you pleased like an animal? And you ladies that cheered at that, what would you do each month for your female supplies? What if one of you got hurt how would you get healed without some kind of medical area? On top of all that, the person you want to complain about leading us? Well she's the one with the most medical knowledge, she could be the one that saved you if something horrible happened to you. She out of all of us could be the one person that really makes a difference in who lives and who dies down here. For that alone I would look to her as a leader and would follow her anywhere."

Miller's words hit home as strong as Clarke's did and some of the females even looked horrified at the reminder that they might have their cycles without anything to help them. His talk of her being a leader got on her nerves since it was something she had denied over and over as wanting, but each time she did they told her that it had to be her, there was no one else.

"That's right, think about it. On the Ark supplies had been limited but we still had them, we had adults giving them to us. But here? Here we are on our own. It's now up to us and only us to provide anything we need, food, water, shelter, clothes, even something to wipe our asses with. But hey, if a party is more important, go for it."

Clarke stepped up again when Miller seemed to be finished. "No one said anything about a leader. I just spoke up because yes, I seemed to have the most information on things we should do. Does that make me a leader? Maybe to some, or maybe it just makes me someone who can push us all in the right direction when we need it, to do the things we must."

Octavia squeezed her hand in support and it warmed her heart.

"However talks of leadership isn't even important right now, we first have to open the doors and see what's out there. See what supplies we have and go from there. Is everyone ready?"

She expected more yelling but instead she got only silence. Everyone watched in silent awe as Clarke motioned for Octavia to open up the doors.

The silence continued as the door slowly was pushed open and light began streaming in through the cracks. With one final push Octavia fully opened the doors and could only stare out at the sight before her. It was all any of them could do.

Trees, grass, sunlight, the sky, rocks, the sound of birds. It was all things they had only read about or seen on showing of movies in the recreation rooms on the Ark. Things they all had secretly wished to to see but never thought they would.

The air! They breathed it in, fresh and clean, so different from the artificial air from the Ark.

Octavia took one step forward, then two. Three. And then she was running, flying down the ramp, only to stop right before she stepped off.

She looked back at Clarke, partly scared, partly looking like a young child wanting for permission to leave their parents sight. Which Clarke gave her with a grinning nod and shooing motions with her hands.

With a whoop she leaped off the ramp, landing a foot away in the grass and dirt, dancing around wildly in joy.

Clarke gave her a moment to herself and then she snapped the others out of their own bliss and pushed them forward. Soon everyone but her and Miller was on the ground looking around at their new home.

"Miller, would you go see if you can find the supply area? We should see what they sent us with now, we have no idea how long we have until it gets dark."

Miller snapped her an almost mocking, but joking, salute and went off to do what she asked as she herself slowly walked down the ramp to go stand near their friends.

* * *

><p>Bellamy had been tossed around some but thankfully was unhurt when they landed. He had heard the speeches Clarke and her friend gave and was impressed with both, they really had a shot if they had the chance to do what they wanted.<p>

Bellamy decided would help give them the chance, the time and the help. He would do whatever it took to help his angel with her plans. If only he could get out of this fucking supply area, why did this door only open from the outside?

Like magic someone opened the door he was pacing in front of.

Both men leaned back in shock, one more than the other. Bellamy opened his mouth to say something but the teen beat him to it.

"Bellamy?" His name was almost whispered, but Bellamy could hear it loud and clear.

"Yes. How do you know who I am?" He demanded.

"I've seen your face every week for months. Clarke must have drawn it dozens of times in her cell. I'm Miller, a friend of her's."

Bellamy couldn't have been more shocked if the legendary Big Foot stepped out and said he was his father. His angel drew his face? A smug part of him loved the fact that his face was something his angel saw before she went to bed.

He grabbed Miller's hand that he had held out for Bellamy to shake and looked him carefully up and down. Not as one might do to a good looking female. But as to decide what kind of man he was.

His hands were rough, he was used to hard labor.

His body was lean but the strength in it could be clearly seen.

Intelligent eyes that saw too much, read too easily. Eyes that had measured him in the same way. He wondered what he saw.

Bellamy could find no fault in the boy, he was happy his girls had Miller on their side. It seemed that Miller also was ok with what he saw because he nodded and slightly smiled at Bellamy.

"Well the girls will be happy to see you, I know they both missed you." Miller looked behind Bellamy and paled. "Is that all the supplies they sent us with?"

"Actually no. They didn't plan on sending us with any. When I snuck on the ship I came here and the supply section was empty. I only had like two minutes to grab as much as I could and could only hope I grabbed enough or at least the things that would make the most difference down here."

They shared an uneasy look at what Bellamy said. That the Ark was going to send them with nothing spoke so much and without saying a word they agreed that this wasn't something they wanted everyone to know just yet.

Bellamy followed Miller out and around the ship. He was almost to them, he would hold them in just seconds.

Miller was in front of him and when he got to the others he cleared his throat to get their attention. "We had an additional passenger." Maybe he would have said who he was, but it wasn't needed as Octavia came running at him.

"BELL! OH GOD, BELL!"

Bellamy picked her up as she flung herself at him and swung her around, hugging her as tightly as she was him. Her tears fell hot on his neck and they made him squeeze tighter.

As much as he loved Octavia, she wasn't the only one he wanted in his arms. He lifted his face up and searched the crowd for her. He didn't have to look far for she was standing close, but not close enough, she would never be close enough even if she never left his side again.

Clarke was watching them through her own tears but she was also looking at him as if she was studying him. When their eyes met she blinked once, twice, before understanding and sadness filled her eyes.

What did she see in his face? What did his eyes tell her?

* * *

><p>Clarke figured Miller would come back with news of a plenty of supplies, or maybe that the Ark sent them with no supplies. Nothing, nothing at all, would have made her think that he would come back with Bellamy Blake.<p>

Happiness, shock, confusion, grateful, relieved, she felt it all. He was here with them, she would never have to worry about him up in the Ark without them, never have to wonder if they would even ever see him again.

Then their eyes met and she read them, saw what he was trying to hide. He had always been so terrible at hiding his emotions from her and Octavia. His eyes always spoke the truth to them. And this time his eyes held a tormented pain that she had seen before, she saw it when she had looked at her reflection in the mirrors back on the Ark. He was broken, something happened to him and it gave him have an inner darkness, a demon to fight.

Which she understood, maybe more than anyone else for she too had her own demons to slay.

Clarke didn't know if she wanted to know what his demon was or not. If she knew, she would want to try to help, and she had no idea how to do that. She couldn't even help herself.

Her feet moved without her noticing when one of his arms dropped from around his sister and silently called for her. She had almost reached him when another girl stepped in front of her, forcing her way into his arms.

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><p><em>"I wanna hide the truth<em>  
><em>I wanna shelter you<em>

_When you feel my heat_  
><em>Look into my eyes<em>  
><em>It's where my demons hide<em>  
><em>It's where my demons hide<em>  
><em>Don't get too close<em>  
><em>It's dark inside<em>  
><em>It's where my demons hide<em>  
><em>It's where my demons hide"<br>Imagine Dragons- Demons_


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I would have had this up sooner but I wrote, rewrote and rewrote the bottom half of this at least a dozen times. I still don't think I'm happy with it. But I hope it comes across like I want it to. *crosses fingers*

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><p>He had opened one of his arms to her, hoping she would come to him and his heart started loudly beating in his chest when she did.<p>

His closed his eyes in anticipation.

Soft and warm lips met his and he stopped breathing.

Until he noticed a few things.

Clarke wasn't this tall.

Clarke had softer curves than this.

This wasn't Clarke. _He was kissing a girl who was not his Clarke, in front of Clarke. _

shitshitshit!

Rudely, without care for whoever he was kissing, he roughly shoved her off of him and hesitantly raised his eyes to Clarke's, scared of what he would see.

Bellamy saw the hurt before she closed herself off from him, it was quick but he still saw it.

Could this get any worse?

"Bell? What was that? Who is she?"

Ah yes. It could. He forgot about his sister.

The girl, Rene? Rome? Roma! Roma cooly answered from her spot on the ground where she had landed on her ass.

"I'm Roma. Who the hell are you?"

This girl was dumber than he remembered. Everyone on the Ark knew who she was, rumors spread like crazy on the Ark.

Octavia didn't even bothered replying, she just turned his way with a look he had seen countless times. She was pissed.

"So while I was in jail, and while Clarke was in solitary, this is how you spent your time? Dating girls like this?"

"Oh no, we didn't date. We just... met each others needs. Often."

Fuck it got even worse. Could that girl just shut her mouth for one damn minute?

His sister looked sickened by that, not that he blamed her. He wouldn't want to know if she was out having.. you know what? No, she wasn't allowed to do that. Ever.

Clarke, her face was painful to see. When the words reached her and she understood what it meant her walls fell completely, long enough for Bellamy to see total heartbreak. It crushed him, he never wanted her to find out what he had done for a few months before finding out where she was.

"Wait Clarke, please let me explain. I didn't know,"

She interrupted him, of course she did. He was shocked at how calm her voice sounded, he knew his own had been shaky.

"No need to explain. I get it, a man has needs right? If you'll excuse me, I have things to do."

Bellamy watched her walk over to Miller and speak low with him. Was that it? Was she not even going to let him explain?

He would have gone over and pleaded with her, begged her to listen if she wasn't right. She did have things to do, they all did. He would catch her later when she had no choice but to talk to him.

* * *

><p>Clarke thought she had known heartbreak before, but seeing another girl in Bellamy's arms, seeing him kissing her right there in front of her? There was no words for how much it hurt her. Logically she knew he actually didn't betray her in any way, they had never talked about their feelings or anything like that. Her heart however, didn't think logically and it was breaking.<p>

Had she been wrong? Had there been nothing between them?

She wished she had the time to go off alone and lick her wounds. The girls words kept circling in her head. Needs, they met each others needs. Not a girlfriend, no love, it didn't even look like Bellamy respected her by the way he tossed her to the ground.

Clarke huffed loudly and went in search of Miller. She didn't have time to ponder the sex life of Bellamy Blake and how much it hurt her.

Miller gave her a quick run down on what happened with the supplies and she agreed with him that they would keep that to themselves. It wouldn't help any of them if they knew that the Ark cared even less about them than they thought.

Clarke stood at the bottom of ship's ramp and looked out at all the teenagers around her. Teenagers and Bellamy, that's all they had to try to make it in this world.

"Attention! Hey, listen up!" Clarke shouted so that everyone could hear her.

"I know we all want to explore, I do too, before we do that, we should settle a few things. The first is temporary shelters. On the back of the seats we all sat in there is a parachute attached, if we use sticks maybe we can somehow build a tent with them. If you bunk with someone, or more than one person, the other parachutes could be used to keep warm or anything else we can think of."

As she paused to take a breath she could see people moving closer to friends and knew that most of them would pair off in some way.

"After we get shelter figured out I think we should look over the supplies we have and see how far we are from the supplies that the Ark said was here on the mountain. And we have to organize into groups focusing on,"

"Hang on," Roma cut in. "I know we agreed back on the Ark to your plans, most of us did it because of what you know, and because you were the oldest of us. Now you're not. Bellamy is older than you, if anyone is going to lead us I think it should be him!"

Clarke wasn't sure how she felt about the suggestion. She didn't have time to think of a response as more than half of the kids started chanting Bellamy's name. Was it really only because he was older, maybe seen as an adult? Clarke knew to go against that many wouldn't do her any good in the long run.

She half listened as Bellamy stepped up next to her and charmed the crowd in a way that only he could. He told them that he would be honored to lead them but felt that it would be in everyone's best interest if he did it together with her, since she had already done so much and had great ideas that would benefit them all. He suggested they follow her idea to make tents and gave a few ideas on how to set them up.

Clarke didn't know what to do with his praise. Well she knew what she wished she wanted to do, tell him to shove his words, but she knew enough about him to know that he would be a good leader. Instead she held her tongue and nodded where she felt she should. Bellamy finished charming them and when he was finished they just went off getting stuff to make tents. Did he have to make everything look so easy?

Monty, who had been looking over the map they had been given, came over to them looking worried.

"Bellamy, this is Monty. Monty, meet Bellamy." She may have been mad at Bellamy, but that was no excuse for bad manners. Her dad would have been mad if she forgot hers.

Monty waved an awkward hello but was more focused on the map in his hands. "Clarke we have a huge problem."

Clarke groaned, she didn't like how that sounded. "Lay it on me."

Monty gestured for them both to look at the map, pointed to one spot, then had them look up and pointed at an area in the distance. "This is us. This is where they say the supplies might be. And that, that is Mount Weather."

Bellamy cursed under his breath. "They dropped us on the wrong damn mountain."

Clarke studied the map some and wanted to punch something. "That's like a day away, maybe more since we don't know how much the terrain has changed, not to mention we don't know if there are any big predator animals in this area or not. We can't just go off like that right now, there is way too much to do here."

Clarke was relieved when Bellamy and Monty agreed with her, even knowing that it added more pressure of having to find food, she was glad no one was going to be making the hike any time soon. She was never more thankful that some of them knew what plants down here could be eaten safely.

Wanting to lose her mind to work for awhile she went to the supplies to see what they had to work with. She hoped to find some kind of paper, pencil or writing materials as it would help organize things. Opening the one that was marked guides she got lucky, there was a few things that she had seen on high school movies back on the Ark, spiral notebooks if she remembered correctly.

Mentally Clarke ran down a list of things that they needed first- shelter, water, fire, protection, food. They already had temporary shelters going but would need to find something more permanent before too long. Maybe they could find some time to explore their surrounding area and see if any buildings were still standing. Or partly standing, then they could use the wood to make new buildings. Water shouldn't be that hard as their map showed several bodies of water around them. Fire would depend on if they had anything to start one with in their supplies and food would come later. For short term protection from any wild animals they would need to make a wall of sorts around them, what kind or how she had no idea, that could be something the boys tried to figure out.

She wasn't paying attention to anything going on around her so when a hand met her shoulder she gave a startled yelp, scaring the person trying to talk to her.

"Really Clarke? I don't need a heart attack thank you very much!"

"I'm sorry Octavia, I wasn't paying attention. What's up?"

"Monroe and I want to know if you want to bunk with us, if we use two parachutes we can have a larger tent."

"Sure, but don't you want to bunk with your brother?"

Octavia made a face like she smelled something gross. "No. I spent most of my life sharing a small space with him. He'll be close anyways. Jasper and Monty will be next to us, Bellamy behind us and Miller to the other side. Those two said they don't want to bunk with anyone."

Clarke let herself have a moment to wonder if Bellamy wanted his own tent to tend to his _needs _with other girls. Before it could do more damage to her already wounded heart she shut that thought down as fast as she had it. It was not her business, _it was not._

Octavia seemed happy at sharing a tent with them so what could Clarke do but agree? It wasn't like she didn't like the idea. Clarke asked her if they needed help setting up the tent and Octavia cheerfully told her no, that Bellamy and a few others had already started. Of course they did, the world might stop if Bellamy ever made his sister do anything herself. She loved the girl like she was her own sister but felt that she needed to grow up some, learn to do things for herself and become who she was meant to be. Hopefully down here she would get the chance.

With the boys doing their tent for them, they called Monroe over and the girls got to work on going through the supplies to see what they had. Clarke was pleased with the range of items Bellamy had gotten, there was so many things that before now she didn't even think about.

In the household box the Ark had packed a couple of pots to cook in and empty metal containers that they would be able to store things in. Also in it was things to help with a fire, not that any of them had ever made one but it couldn't be that hard right?

The girls also got excited over the clothes, not only did they send various articles of clothing for both sexes but they also had a small supply of colored fabrics and sewing tools that they could use to make new things and mend older items. As just about everything anyone wore was previously owned, making it new and your own was something every teenager enjoyed doing.

They stopped their excited chatter over what they found and quickly started on notes of everything they had. None of them could wait to break into the guides to see what kind of information they had. Some had titles like 'prepping for the end of the world','prepping for idiots', and after asking Clarke what prepping meant, they hoped these would have answers for questions that may come up later.

The backpacks held random bits and pieces of stuff that they mostly had no idea what they did, so they put those into piles to be sorted later by someone who hopefully knew what they did.

They had just grabbed the last few backpacks and medical supplies when Bellamy and their other friends came to check on them.

"What's the hold up ladies, almost everyone is done with their tents already!"

Clarke was glad at the news Jasper gave them, happy that everyone would have someplace to sleep tonight. "Thank you guys for making our tent for us. We are just about done in here, just got a few more things to look at, then we can bring the personal belongings out."

"Good because a few have come up to me and asked about supplies already." Bellamy stated but his words got overpowered by Clarke's shout of delight.

"Great news guys! Bad news as well, but mostly great news!"

Clarke was thrilled at her discovery, it would cover a few of their problems that would come up soon and stop problems that could come in the future.

"It's bottles of DP-17!"

Monroe and Monty looked as thrilled as Clarke but the others could only look on in confusion.

"Someone want to share with the rest of us what that is?" Bellamy demanded, not happy with being left out.

"Like a hundred years ago or something like that, down here on earth women could get a shot to help prevent pregnancy, but on the Ark with their limited supplies they wanted to find a way to improve it because it could only be used for a few years safely. So they tried for years before coming up with DP-17, you take one shot and it lasts a whole year."

While she was explaining the boys all looked like they wanted to be someplace else but by the end they all knew why she was so happy. They were old enough and smart enough to realize that this many teenagers together that sex was going to happen. Now with this they wouldn't have to worry about anyone becoming pregnant, which would be something that none of them needed now.

Monroe noticed the faces on the guys and laughed as she made a comment that really made them all want to leave. "Best part about the shot is that we won't get our periods! This really is the best news all day!"

Miller shifted on his feet, more than ready for this torture to end. He loved his female friends but there was some things that he really didn't care to know about or even worse, talk about with them. "So what was the bad news?"

Clarke glanced at Bellamy, letting him know with her eyes that she didn't blame him. Which she didn't, she blamed the Ark. He had gone above and beyond by even getting them this much. "The bag that Bellamy heard break was one of the bags of DP-17, they packed two of them, each with bottles, syringes and needles. We now only have one with the medicine. I have to see what the dosage is and how much is in a bottle but I think we have enough to last for quite some time."

"Maybe I can try to break it down and see what's in it, recreate it down here somehow." Monty offered, looking happy at the thought. Clarke smiled at him and nodded, if anyone of them could, he would be able to.

Clarke pointed at the last unopened crate. "Can a few of you guys bring that out? I want to get those passed around and get a fire started before it gets too dark."

"Good idea. Miller, Jasper, Monty you guys move the crate. Octavia, Monroe will you go see if you can clear an area for a large fire? I want to talk with Clarke for a moment." Bellamy ordered.

Octavia paused, silently asking Clarke if she was ok with them leaving the two of them alone. Clarke hesitated in answering. She didn't think she was ready to talk privately with him just yet. But she was curious enough to find out so she sent the girls on their way.

Clarke waited and watched as Bellamy paced, running a hand through his hair every time he passed her. She could tell he was nervous, but at what?

"What is it Bellamy? We both have things to do."

* * *

><p>Bellamy had no idea where to start. He knew what he wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her that those girls meant nothing to him, that only she did, that only she ever did. But what if he opened his heart to her and she didn't respond in the way he wanted her to?<p>

"Look Clarke, those girls and I, no wait. They don't even matter and have nothing to do with us."

He could see that was the wrong way to start, she was already getting upset.

"They don't matter because it was just about meeting your needs right?" She was mad enough that he could almost see the fire in her eyes as she spat out the question.

"Yes. No! I mean. Ugh damn it. It was just sex. I know that sounds bad but me and them, we all knew it. It wasn't a relationship at all. I had just lost my mom, my sister and then you just stopped coming around and I was lost."

"I was locked up too Bellamy! I didn't stop coming around on purpose!"

"I know that now but I didn't for months. They helped me forget alright?" Shit, raising his voice at her was not something he wanted to do.

"Forgot what? Forget Octavia? Your mom?" She was screaming at him at this point. "Forget me?" She ended with a whisper but those two words came speeding at him like bullets, ripping him apart.

He hated to do it but he could be nothing but honest with her, no matter how much it hurt both of them, she deserved nothing but the truth. He swallowed past a lump in his throat before giving her the answer her eyes pleaded him not to give. "Yes."

Bellamy knew what it would do to her so he made to grab her and hold her but she slapped at him, moving back quickly.

"NO! No, you don't get to touch me after saying that. Leave, just leave me alone."

"Clarke please, talk to me. Don't push me away."

She looked at him with tears pouring down her face and each one was a punch to the gut. "I don't want to talk anymore. Please Bellamy, please, just let me be." She was hardly holding herself up, he could tell she was seconds from falling apart and he had never hated himself more. However much it hurt her, he didn't want to start something on lies. He just hoped she would forgive him and they could move past it.

Bellamy had no choice but to walk away, _for now,_ he promised himself. He would let her have her space but there was no way he was going to let her push him away for mistakes he stupidly made before he even had a chance with her.

He walked outside the supply doors and fell against it, dropping to the ground, holding his head in his hands as each sob, each catch of breath, each sniffle, each muffled cry she made met his ears, a sound he would never forget. He felt the agony, the grief, the pain, the sorrow.

And he cried with her. His tears tasting of regret, remorse and bitterness.

* * *

><p><em>"But I'm only human<em>  
><em>And I bleed when I fall down<em>  
><em>I'm only human<em>  
><em>And I crash and I break down<em>  
><em>Your words in my head, knives in my heart<em>  
><em>You build me up and then I fall apart<em>  
><em>'Cause I'm only human"<em>  
><em>-Christina Perri - Human<em>


	6. Chapter 6

Hello you fabulous readers!

I've always disliked authors that put up chapters just for an authors note, I didn't think it was necessary, I didn't get it until now. But it is an easy, quick way to give updates.

Entwined Souls has not been (and will not be) forgotten. Thanks to out of town family visiting and other things I stopped updating during the holiday season and then haven't since thanks to getting over the flu. However, over the past few nights I've been chatting with a few other writers and a writing challenge for the 100 came up that completely caught my muse and hasn't left my brain since. Because my muse jumped to a new project I'm sad to say that this is going on a break for now. *ducks rotten tomatoes*

I've very sorry and I hope you check out my new story that I've posted. It's going to be a crossover with the 100 and another show so it sadly will not be a Clarke/Bellamy so I won't be offended if you don't like it.

Thank you for everyone that has read,followed, reviewed, favorited up to this point.

See you with a new chapter soon. :)


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